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Have you been able to recognize why you feel weighed down to a point of mental or emotional immobility?
At some point of your girlhood you were taught about the dirtiness of a lie and how some small lies are ok to tell and so you did. As I right this I’m once again reminded how outwardly focused we have been as women. Not many of us were blessed with a wise woman in our girlhood to womanhood evolution. The lessons of lying, why not to lie, and the threatening consequences of lying have always referenced the projection and perception of a lie onto someone else for the intention of deceiving.
A much greater, deeper, disconnecting dysfunction exists. The lies we tell ourselves place a wedge between us and our hearts. Depending upon how long and deep the self-lie is you may nearly feel a disconnection with yourself. The lie you told yourself about that guys being the right one, when really he was a total mismatch. The lie you told yourself about being happy at your weight when really you would love to slim down and boost your self-esteem. The lie you tell yourself about your job, boss, your feelings etc. etc. etc.